Sunday, April 28, 2013

By the way ... In praise of Bali’s corrupt cops

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It’s not often you read a story complimenting Bali’s sticky-fingered law enforcers, particularly after their exposure by Dutch entrapment artist Van Der Spek.

He’s the skinhead journo who uploaded a YouTube video of a traffic policeman accepting a bribe to waive the ticket. It’s an arresting video.

Anyway, here’s my cautionary tale.

Some time ago in Kuta we needed rupiah. Then, as now, there was no shortage of money changers along Jl. Legian offering juicy rates, far sweeter than those posted at banks and hotels.

Keen to “maximize returns on investments” as bankers say (aka “greedy”), we chose the top offer
in town.  What did it matter that the rate ended in an odd number and the bank was a dirty desk in an unlit corner of an overstocked clothing and artifact store?

Of course, I knew of caveat emptor, but I was one big Westerner who had studied math at university and was armed with a real calculator.  No local with a doctored abacus was going to outsmart me.

The friendly shopkeeper apologized for his lack of large denomination notes, but, he chuckled, five, 10 and 20 thousand rupiah notes were legal tender, even though well worn and confusing to outsiders. Of course. Ha, ha!

I laid down US$500 in traveler’s checks on one side of the counter. A curious assistant sauntered across to watch his colleague and made small talk.

“Where was I from and how much did I pay for the camera?” Nice fellow.

The suckers enjoyed the chat and watched the piles of notes grow, get resorted, moved and double counted.  Handshakes all round. Receipts?  Not necessary.

Back in the hotel, we were hit by reality and Rp 600,000 shortfall.  The righteous receptionist said I should have used their service and ridiculed requests to call the police.

“They won’t come,” she said. But they did in minutes, five young muscle men in casual clothes, pistols in belts and a jeep.

They drove us back to the shop.  The moneychanger denied knowledge.  One cop walked round the counter and started ransacking the desk. Another barged his way into the back room.

Their mates started manhandling stock. Roughly. Very roughly.

Soon fragile goods tumbled off shelves, clothes were ripped, artwork shattered. Customers fled.  The staff blanched.

It seemed the confrontation would turn violent. Maybe getting our money back wasn’t such a good idea.  The scene was like a movie about the prohibition era with American cops raiding a sly moonshine shop.

If the police were trying to make an impression on a greenhorn foreigner then they were doing a splendid job.

Our checks were found. One officer tapped the cheat’s chest and requested a refund.  Rp 200,000 was offered.  Clumsy cops started bumping into the furniture.

A further Rp 200,000 appeared.  Belts were hitched and sidearms adjusted.  The rest of the money jumped onto the desk.

Back in the jeep, I congratulated the cops and told them that in my country the police would have just taken statements. They’d need search warrants.  Lawyers would get involved.  Should charges be laid the case would take months to reach court.

The chances of the artless dodger getting more than a warning and my cash would be slight.  But here in Indonesia, fraud had been fixed in a flash and the criminal given one hell of a fright.  Instant justice — brilliant!

Happy to help, said the sergeant, all part of the service. Just one small issue — there’s another difference between Australian and Indonesian police; “we locals are badly paid”.

I rapidly reckoned Rp 100,000 split between five men was a fair price and an appropriate penalty for my own stupidity.

Corruption?  Technically, yes. Effective?  Absolutely.  Qualms? A few and evaporating.

Back in Bali this year, I tried a different shop to see if the scam was still alive.  Sorry, Pak, only small notes available. My friend just likes watching and chatting. You’re right, the light needs fixing. Cute camera, what did you pay? Now how much do you want?

So nothing changes — and thanks to Van Der Spek we know the police are still accommodating.

— Duncan Graham

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